are you still at the devil's house?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
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