She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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