I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
