they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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