Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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