what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
