We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
