Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
