Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
