I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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