i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
