The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
