Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
She just used a chaser for red wine.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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