I'll bet she douches with gravy.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
