who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
