Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
