I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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