you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
