i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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