So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Randomize
