I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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