Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
ugly people sure do ruin things
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize
