I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
