If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
