You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
