i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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