i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I am one with the molecules
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
