So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
