Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize