I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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