this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
