I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
