Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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