I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
