He is an equal opportunity slut.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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