if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize