i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
