she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
