i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
