So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
