Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
