You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Randomize
