no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize