You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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