I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Randomize
