Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
