your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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