Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
