I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
