I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
