like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
NoShamevember. You game?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
