i jhust puked up my retainher.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
