Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
