Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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