Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Text me some of your sweat
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
