kristin has been a bad kristin
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize