is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
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